101 Things To Do Before I Die - 2019 edition.

I've been super depressed lately and was thinking maybe I should start blogging again. I'm not even sure if any of my LJ friends are still here, but it should be cathartic to just get things off my chest. I guess I'll start off with this 101 Things list I've kept updated over the years

Originally written in 2007 and last touched in 2013, so I guess it's time to cross things out and tweak some items that are no longer relevant.

101 things to do before I die
1. Rob Thomas
1a. Jim Sturgess
2. Jump (a horse) over 3'
3. Ride a horse along the ocean
4. Attend a World Series game in the Bronx
5. Be a Yankee Stadium Bleacher Creature
6. Ride a Piaffe
7. Have a concert total above 100
8. Go on a real road trip
9. Visit the following cities: New Orleans, Nashville, Chicago and Boston. New 2019 list: San Francisco, Boise, Seattle, Portland
10. Get kissed in the rain
11. Learn to Surf
12. Climb something real
13. Spend a Winter in Aiken
14. Spring in Austin
15. Summer in Jackson Hole
16. Fall in New England
17. Read Thoreau while on Walden Pond
18. Go to a show at the Cavern
19. Visit Abbey Road, do the cool cross-walk straight-legged thing
20. Visit Victoria Falls
21. Break a major but silly law
22. Stealthily take Photos somewhere to expose a human rights violation
23. Fall in love
24. Watch a lightning storm out on the ocean
25. Watch a sunset with someone I love

26. Visit Gibraltar
27. Sleep under the stars
28. Kiss under a streetlight in the dark

29. See the Northern Lights
30. Give a total stranger my phone number
31. Steal a road sign
32. Go to a drive-in theater
33. Steal a ring from a Carousel horse
34. Crash a party
35. Go to a Midnight Rocky Horror show in full costume
36. Sell Photos to someone who doesn't know me

37. Learn to play the Harmonica in a real, not annoying, way.
38. Compete above First level.
39. Ski a black diamond
40. Learn Sioux
41. Hold a conversation with a native speaker in French.
42. Go to Mariano Rivera Day
43. Fence someone while wearing a pirate hat
44. Spend an entire day unplugged from the world, reading

45. Learn "Leader of the Band" on guitar
46. Perform at an Open Mic night
47. Q with Wilco in Novice agility
48. Learn to inherit the Earth
49. Watch Dead Poets Society so that my quoting of it becomes relevant (2007: haha, still haven't done that) (2012: haha, haha, still STILL haven't done that) (2013: Damn it, it's not on Netflix 2019: lol)
50. Take the Adirondack train up to Montreal
51. Catch a foul ball
52. Canter bareback

53. Listen to all of Billboard's Top 100 songs of All Time
54. Get my bronze medal with Lyla
55. When I do finally fly, have a whole bunch of stuffed snakes with me.
56. Go skinny dipping at a public place at midnight
57. Get published.

58. Do a section of the Philly-Shore MS Bike Ride
59. Work a ranch for a day (Cattle run or something)
60. Visit the Killpecker Sand Dunes
61. Ride in a horse show
62. Tell someone that my Thoroughbred could beat their Warmblood, and then prove it.

63. Make a list of all of my favorite books.
64. Hike to the top of Half Dome
65. Shoot sunset on the Dawn Wall of El Capitan
66. Spend a weekend in Boston wearing Yankees gear
67. Go to the Breeder's Cup
69. Get a press pass to a major event/sneak into a major event, either one.
70. Go to Bonnaroo Music Festival
71. Spend a month going to every concert I can find, especially if I don't know the artist
72. Ride at Devon
73. Go XC schooling, don't die.
74. Get lost in a Moroccan marketplace
75. Spend an afternoon shooting Street Portraits on a corner in Philly
76. Read "Underworld" by Don DeLillo
77. Go foxhunting
78. Learn how to sing "Question" in French
79. Sell photos in a craft/art show
80. See a concert at Red Rocks
81. Drive down Jersey highways on the way to the shore blasting "Born to Run" on repeat
82. Fill up my iPod

83. Spend a day away from the world with just a record player and boxes of my dads old records
84. Walk along the beach at midnight
85. Actually find a fitness program I don't hate
86. Attend a Daily Show taping
87. Stop biting my nails
88. Develop my own film
89. Visit both sides of Niagra Falls

90. Go camping on Assateague, watch the wild horses on the beach at dawn
91. Ride a mustang
92. Back a horse
93. Get photos published
94. Chase a tornado and weather a Hurricane
95. Use the Greatest Pickup Line Ever: "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

96. Hold a Koala Bear
97. Make out in a Photo booth
98. Learn conversational ASL
99. Gallop Gali around the track
100. Plan a Charity Concert for Darfur

101. Complete my Quotebook


My heart shatters into a million pieces every couple of weeks.

I think about her daily.

There are some things you never get over.

I came so, so close to being able to have some closure about this mare, who has such a large part of my soul. Nina, the woman running the farm where this poor mare is kept in horrific conditions, was supposed to be evicted, which would have made Cindy basically abandoned property.

So, so many times I've been through this. This time, I spoke with the new owner of the property, and he was SO done with Nina's shit. He told me that if she didn't leave, he'd call the state in to go through the eviction process and that it would end up costing her a ton of money.

And I just heard that after she's rehomed about 20 horses, he's allowing her to stay (details fuzzy) and Cindy will be one of the ~25 horses that will remain. Without access to veterinary care, without access to farrier care, without access to safe pasture, or feed, and most likely without much access to hay, at all.

"and all the things that i said i'd do, like make the world brand new, and take the time for you... just got lost, i slept right through the dawn, and let the world spin madly on"

Ten Day Thing - 3 & 4

Day Three: Eight things that annoy you.

1. That, despite getting several scores above 60% all summer in T1, T2 and T3, I won't be getting a 60% achievement ribbon at the end of the year because I joined the organization halfway through the summer, and immediately became incapable of scoring above a 59%

2. On the same note, when schooling show judges have no comments for you. WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR.

3. Cleaning my tack

4. When people don't answer my calls or texts - which is hypocritical, because I'm the worst responder ever

5. That after riding dressage for 15 years (ew, just did the math, feel old), I can't get my own damn horse to score 65%s in Training Level (my personal mark to move up a level is a few 65%s)

6. That there aren't any good tabs for Dire Straits' Romeo and Juliet for ukulele. Particularly the Intro.

7. That Brian Sea Isle totally dropped off the planet despite saying that he still wanted to hang out

8. When my phone freezes or is slow to respond to my commands!

(...can you tell the show didn't go so great yesterday?)

Day Four: Seven fears/phobias.

1. Flying, airplanes
2. Elevators that take you very high
3. Bolters
4. Roller coasters
5. Tornadoes, Mesoscale Thunderstorms
6. Very Loud Noises (exceptions: music, fireworks)
7. Suspenseful scenes in movies


Just got an update from Mid Atlantic - Halo is acting more like a real horse today and is interested in food - both good signs! Keep the good wishes coming.

Halo's Ordeal

I never sleep with my phone on silent. Last night, I fell asleep before I switched it from silent to the normal medium-loud.

I woke up today to 5 missed calls and 8 text messages, all with the same message: Halo's colicing again and it is bad.

Yesterday afternoon, he has a very mild bout of colic, tubed with no reflux, got a heaping amount of fluids, and was put on monitored stall rest while we waited for poop. He pooped last night and was drinking. He pooped this morning, kept drinking, and it was looking good. Darlene, the rescue owner, went up into her house to do some work before checking on him in the afternoon.

Within an hour of her going inside, Donkeyote started freaking out. He was running the fence, bodyslamming the gate, bodyslamming the doors, and screaming his little heart out. Donkey is very attached to Halo, but has seemed to take Halo's stalling okay. Darlene went out to the barn to see what would quiet Donk down, and that's when she saw Halo down. He was soaked in sweat, and barely moving. They pulled him up and he tried to throw himself down again - he wasn't thrashing, but he was collapsing.

I flew out the door and flew to the barn, hitting 65 mph on a local road behind an ambulance that was possibly saving more than a stranger's life. By the time I got to the barn, Dr. D was tubing Halo and he was producing a ton of reflux. Five people were holding him up - he was shaking, and he was dead weight. Dr. D pumped him full of fluids and got 5+ gallons of reflux out of him through multiple tubings, and decided he needed to go to MidAtlantic.

After a dozen frantic phone calls trying to find a shipper, Darlene desperately asked Bekka and I to run to the farm across the street to ask her neighbor if she could ship. Bekka and I sprinted - I lost my flip flops on the way - and rang the doorbell of a house across the street with a trailer and a small barn. A man answered, agreed to our out-of-breath pleas for help, and hooked up his trailer while Bekka ran back to clear the driveway and get Halo ready.

(Here's one miracle on the case: The man, Tom, doesn't even know Darlene. We ran to the wrong house. Regardless, he has his trailer on the road within ten minutes of us knocking on his door, and he was happy to ship the poor colt up to the clinic.)

Neither Bekka nor I thought Halo would make it up to the clinic. I was almost positive he'd go down in the trailer, but he unloaded like a pro and looked around as if he weren't sick. "Hey guys! That was fun. Where are we now?"

The fluids seemed to help a lot, and after ultrasounding him, stitching a catheter to his neck, and giving him some banamine, he was moved to a stall. The ultrasound showed distended small intestines and some weird growth/blockage/mass above the intestines.

We watched him for several hours while we waited for a ride - Tom has long since been sent home by us. Jason eventually picked us up around 7.

When we left, Halo had been upped to a higher pain killer and sedated a bit, but he was still restless. He wasn't trying to lay down or roll, but he was pacing.

It's pretty much up to him at this point - he's very much at a time where it could either all go downhill or he could recover.

If he gets worse... well, he's not a great candidate for an already risky surgery... sigh.

Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Rick's Trip!

Going to Rick's in Englishtown tomorrow for some saddle shopping... anyone wanna come with? Tack shop trips aren't the same alone.

(basically trying to reach Pilles on this one. Answer your damn phone, girl!)

we've gotta wake up, realize something needs to be done

New single by Lo-Star. You can buy it on iTunes.

For the people in Burma. Singing a song about freedom there is a punishiable offense with 20 years in jail. Anyone speaking out against the regime like the monks did are killed - if they're lucky. The ones arrested face such terrible tortures as "iron rod", where an iron rod is rubbed up and down against their skin until all of the skin is worn away... and then it continues until the rod is rubbing against bone.

"We are living in hell... please help us."

This is too funny.

So, my "aunt" somehow found my LJ (same aunt that makes fake myspace names and stuff...I guess she found my screename or something and tracked me down) and printed out my vent about my Grandma, then called her to read it to her and tell her what I wrote.

It pretty much creeps me out that someone who I haven't talked to in like four years is reading my personal journal.

(So, Aunt Debra, I guess you shouldn't have opened your mouth 'cause now you can't read about all of my incredibly exciting life.)

From now on,
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jon stewart- <3

all i want to be is the minute that you hold me in.

I'm beginning to like this.

I shouldn't be liking this as much as I am.

I just keep reminding myself that in a few months he'll be in Pittsburgh and I'll have to get Lorabelle to be the new me or something.

[Speaking of Lorabelle, I miss my Grier girls so much. They would have good advice for me about everything.]

Too many days of school left.
Ray moves three days after graduation.
I'd stay in school the rest of the summer if it meant that he'd stay here.

The record keeps skipping and the needle keeps bending

I've figured her out. I've finally figured my mare out. Earlier this week I was *this* close to saying "I don't want to half-board her next month." We couldn't get anything done. Then today, I rode with a dressage whip. I barely had to tickle her with it! She much prefers that to a nagging leg aid. I can't believe that the solution was that simple.

I think that was the first ride in a long, long time where I've felt everything go RIGHT as I was riding. With Cindy, I had some breakthroughs that I realized after the fact, but today....amazing. I tapped her flank with the end of the wand, she stepped up and under herself, and I sat back and opened my knees and hip and let my weight fall into my heels. She lowered her head, and just went. She went perfectly. It was a ten trot. I literally shouted "YES!"

It only lasted half a circle, but it was so worth it.

[Oh, and for those wondering, I haven't done a prom recap post because there are no words I could use to describe it accurately. Greatest weekend ever.]